Read 11/21/19 – 11/24/19
The 15 Suggestions
- Be a full person.
- Do it together.
- Teach her that ‘gender roles’ is absolute nonsense.
- Beware the danger of what I call Feminism Lite.
- Teach Chizalum to read.
- Teach her to question language.
- Never speak of marriage as an achievement.
- Teach her to reject likeability.
- Give Chizalum a sense of identity.
- Be deliberate about how you engage with her and her appearance.
- Teach her to question our culture’s selective use of biology as ‘reasons’ for social norms.
- Talk to her about sex and start early.
- Romance will happen so be on board.
- In teaching her about oppression, be careful not to turn the oppressed into saints.
- Teach her about difference.
This is one of the books I chose to read for Buzzwordathon 5.0, and you can read more about why I choose Dear Ijeawele there! I originally intended to make this a summary of the fifteen suggestions, but I decided not to do that about halfway through. It’s why I didn’t finish the book in one day; I was trying to discuss it as I listened.
Needless to say, I scrapped everything I had written. I did that because I realized it wasn’t necessary. This is a very short book with pages the size of my palm. Some of these suggestions are a page or less long. None of this is a bad thing. In fact, I think it is perhaps the biggest reason for everyone to read it!
I really enjoyed this book. It is a collection of suggestions that Adichie is giving her friend or cousin (I don’t remember which) on how to raise her daughter to be a feminist. Some of it may seem obvious, but Adichie frames each point in a very persuasive and easy to understand way.
You don’t need to be Nigerian to read this. You don’t need to be a mother or even a parent. These suggestions convey why everyone should be a feminist. It reminds us why we do this, and it offered me a clear guide to strive toward. I highly recommend it to everyone.
I will be buying it as Christmas gifts for several people in my family. I can see them scoffing at first, but I think it is short enough and open enough that hey might actually pick it up and learn something. Reading the list above isn’t enough. The context she provides is worth studying. I’ve already reread half of the book and intend to continue it to completion. Needless to say, it gets a solid 5/5 stars.